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Friday, September 30, 2011

Out with the Old, In with the New...Ideally

I'm so happy it's Friday.  This has been a super long week. Though not without high points, it has just been crazy busy.  Work has both ups and downs (am on a very exciting project that I have a lot to contribute to, but have to deal with a difficult co-worker), and home life is non-stop as usual.  We went furniture shopping yet again, but with different results this time.  Woohoo!  We found a living room set that we could agree on that also fits in our budget! I was beginning to think it would never happen and we would be sitting on the floor after the old sofa finally gave up the ghost...which was very close to happening.  It started to feel like buying a car.  On the final visit Wednesday night, we had it narrowed down to two almost identical sets.  Then came the sitting on one, moving to the other.  Rinse and repeat.  This went on for an hour easily, as my husband wanted to be sure about which one he liked better.  Factor in 3 trips to the potty for our 22 month old.  Oh, and of course the sets we were looking at were at the farthest part of the store away from the restroom.  Other than the trips to the restroom, she did great, happily sitting on the furniture in the showroom, playing with a balloon, and eating the non-staining snacks I brought along.  Then the signing and initialing 6 copies of paper work.  We finally got out of there at 9:15.  So that was a long, though victorious, evening.

Happily, they scheduled the delivery very quickly.  Sadly, that meant scrambling to get the old sofa out and the love seat temporarily parked in the living room to another temporary holding spot upstairs.  I was the only one around to help my husband with this.  Hmm.  We do not have a good history with moving furniture together.  Every time we attempt it, I remember that I never ever want to move again.  I do fine with other friends, but he and I do not do well in this particular arena.  I think the fact that I am 5'1" and he is 6'2" has a lot to do with it.  Our daughter got very upset when we started to move the sofa, which surprised me.  She sat in the dining room pointing to where the sofa had been and saying, "No, sofa back!"  Other than that, we did okay, got everything moved without any muttering about divorce and no trip to the ER.  Always a plus.  

I figured today would be easy, my husband will take delivery of the furniture, I'll call for bulk pickup of the old sofa and carpet.  Easy peasy.  Ha.  I should have known better.    

I called the town to schedule a bulk pickup and the lady who answers the phone tells me that I have to wait until January because they discontinue bulk pickup to do leaf pickup.  Okay.  For 3 MONTHS!?!  I'm thinking that my neighbors probably do not want to look at the 10 year old blue velvet sofa out in front of my house for that long.  The more she insists that I can either bring the stuff to the dump myself or have to wait til January, the more frustrated I become.  Putting aside the fact that almost no leaves have actually fallen from the trees yet, our town has very high taxes and it is becoming clearer by the day that residents get almost NO services for them.  We have to pay for weekly trash pickup, for sewer service, trying to get get permits to get work done is a challenge (and don't get me started on the time a township inspector lectured me that the town is involved in my addition to protect me, but missed the fact that there was no structural support designed for our new second floor), and I could go on and on.  And now I can add to the list that the first time in the 11 years that we've lived here and needed bulk pickup, they aren't doing them.  I asked the woman on the phone what services I get for the $xx,xxx tax dollars I pay every year.  She told me I was being nasty to her.  I really wasn't.  I didn't threaten her, get aggressive or curse at her.  I just asked her questions she couldn't answer.  She, however, was snide to me from the minute I said the words, "bulk pickup".  When I said I was going to just put it out at the curb and leave it there, she demanded my address.  I wasn't sure whether that was because she was scheduling me for a pickup after all or if it was so she could send code enforcement to give me a ticket.  Thankfully, she deigned to schedule a special pickup for me.  Whew.  I am relieved that I don't have to look at that thing for 3 more months.  

The fun continues.  Our house has three doors.  The sofa won't fit through two of them.  (I again curse the architect who designed our addition.)  The third one has a 90 degree turn immediately and this thing can't possibly make the turn.  So they have to bring it in through the kitchen window, over the island, through the dining room and finally make it into the living room.  Am I the only one who is happy to not be present for things like this?  I get so stressed by stuff like this.  It's just better if I'm not even there.  I'm not sure why I get so worked up.  Not being home is better.  I do something else to take my mind off of it and I get a call after it's all over.

And I just got that call.  Hooray!  Bring on the weekend, I am ready to collapse onto the new sofa! 

Thursday, September 29, 2011

I Don't Know How She Does It, Either

Mainly because I don't have time to go to the movies.  Since the birth of my daughter almost 2 years ago, I have been to the movies less than 5 times.  Dinner and a movie with the girls used to be a weekend staple, we'd go at least once or twice a month.  When A was a newborn, she was a demanding nursling and flat out refused to take a bottle, so she and I pretty much went everywhere together.  I've seen people bring tiny little ones into the movies and the baby somehow sleeps through the entire movie.  My daughter has always been way too interested in everything around her for that to ever happen.  I have finally managed to start reading books again,  thanks to my kindle and audio books from audible.com. I know it's cheating, but I don't care.  I missed books!

In recent months it has gotten easier from the perspective of being apart for several hours at a time.  But to be honest, after a busy week, I'm a little afraid that I'll fall asleep in that nice dark, kid free theater.  Also, if I try to pack too much into the weekend, I lose my prep time for the coming week.  I need to make at least two week night dinners (or do most of the prep work) so as not to resort to pasta and sauce for multiple nights in a row.  My toddler sticks her nose up if a menu selection appears on the table too often.  My little foodie in the making.  For the record, the response she receives is, "That's what's for dinner.  I'm not a short order cook."  There are definitely times that I hear things my parents said to me as a kid coming out of my mouth.  But that's a post for another time.

What was my point?  Oh, right, movies.  There have been a few this year that I wanted to see really badly, which made it worth the ten bucks and the 2 hours to see.  Fortunately, they lived up to my expectations.  In case you were wondering, the top two were:  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2; and The Help.  I really enjoyed both.  Both were not as good as the books they were adapted from, but very well done as movies.  The Help was a great outing too, because I went with a great multi-generational group of women.  It was like a nice big girls night (okay, afternoon) out.

I have plans to see I Don't Know How She Does It, with another great friend.  Maybe I can get some tips.  The previews I've seen make me confident that I'll at least get confirmation that I'm not the only one in this boat!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Bouncing Pumpkins

Today we drove about half an hour to a farmstand to buy pumpkins.  Unfortunately, the pumplin crop this year has been severely impacted by Hurricane Irene, so they only had about half as many pumpkins out as they usually do.  I'm actually hoping that it is also because it's still a little early and they'll be picking more in October.  The place that we go to every year is a nice little place, with mums and other trees and shrubs for sale.  It's a beautiful rural area, a good place to let a toddler run around. She loved it!  She's in that stage where she really thinks that she can carry things that are the same size she is.  "I do it!"  is the quote of the moment.  She had a blast picking out little tiny pumpkins, after we established that the proper way to return the non-chosen ones to the pile is not chucking them back on top.  They also had a little bounce house.  She had never been in one before, but is learning to jump and loves to show this new skill off.  She has progressed to the point where both feet actually leave the ground, but not by much.  Fortunately, the bounce house was empty and she and I could go in alone.  She's a daredevil, but something like this would have overwhelmed and upset her had it been full of big kids.  Her delighted giggles attracted the attention of several passers by, and we got many smiles and kind words from strangers today.  I'm really glad she liked jumping around, because a great friend just gave us a home version bounce around that we will definitely put to good use.  I am a big fan of things that are great exercise, outside and lead to easier nap/bed times due to sheer exhaustion. 

After the pumpkin selecting and bouncing, we went to a Stewart's roadside stand and had rootbeer floats and chili cheese fries.  Being outside works up an appetite.  Yum!

All around, we had a great fall day!!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Making Meal Planning Work for Me

I've always hated being asked, "So, what's for dinner?"  My response tends to be of the smart Alec variety, "Whatever you are making."  Why is it that I have to come up with what is for dinner most nights?  There is nothing in my resume or pedigree that makes me remarkably qualified to be the family chef.  I do enjoy cooking, but not the stressed out desperate attempt to throw together a balanced meal at 6 pm that tends to be the norm in our house.  To be fair, my husband can cook and enjoys cooking certain things, but meal planning is not his forte either.  He will occasionally surprise me by making dinner, usually after a trip to our closest Wegmans. (It's 20 minutes away but worth the trip!)

My husband does most of our grocery shopping, and I've quelled my inner control freak.  For the most part, anyway.  I just make very specific lists, including brands.  The quelled part is where I don't get mad or roll my eyes when he brings home the "wrong" item.  I need to get over it and not let my perfectionism force me to do the grocery shopping.

Tangent over.  Back to my point.  Most days, it's like pulling teeth to find out what my husband wants for dinner.  This made meal planning a challenge, until I realized that he really and truly does not care.  As long as it is not too far outside the known universe of what he will eat, if I put it on the table, he will eat it.  He just likes that there is food and it is cooked and on the table before 10 pm.  (Yes, we have eaten dinner at 10 pm.  Not recently, and not since we had a kid, but yes, we have.)  I read it many places before finally accepting that it is true...meal planning is the only way to go.  On my own, I stink at meal planning.  We would eat the same three things ad infinitum.  And I hated leftovers, which was a problem when we were eating the same thing over and over again.  I was skeptical when I found the Six O'Clock Scramble, but I had to try something new. I discovered the Scramble right around the time that my daughter was really starting to eat big people food.  That's what we call solid foods in our house.  Anyway, around that time I realized that I needed to actually feed her well balanced and nutritious meals and that it would probably be easier to do so from day one rather than trying to fix a bad food situation down the road.

I love the Six O'Clock Scramble.  It really is a great solution, giving you a set 5 day meal plan each week. I should point out, though, that this site requires a subscription after the free trial membership. The beauty of it is the flexibility it offers.  So I can look at the offered menu for the week and switch out recipes based on what my family likes or doesn't like and/or what is in my pantry.  Each recipe on the site has tags like make ahead, freezable, express, vegetarian, and too many others to list here.  I like to mix up the meals I choose to include 1 or 2 that I can make ahead on Sunday and an express for whichever night of the week is going to be crazy.  I also built up my recipe box and stored comments on each recipe that we've tried as to who liked what and what variations I made.  Love it!!  Having a recipe box of stored recipes that we like makes meal planning so much easier.  I do wish that it had more crock pot recipes, because I love my crock pot and use it at least once a week.  But I pick 3 or 4 meals from the Scramble and then fill in 1 or 2 additional from Stephanie O'Dea's Year of Slow Cooking blog.  Voila.  Meal planning done!

This post reminds me, I need to call my husband and have him throw our vegetarian enchiladas (made ahead!) into the oven so they are ready when my munchkin and I get home!  Yum!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Little friends

I love picking my daughter up from daycare.  When I pick her up, I like to sneak in and watch her for a minute until she sees me standing there.  Her little face lights up with a big smile and she runs right over to me.  Of course, she is all business then, so she grabs my hand and drags me over to get her paper (daily report) and then out the door.  Good-byes are not her strong suit.  Then again, neither are hellos.  She has a pretty good vocabulary and she knows hello and bye bye, but she very rarely uses either one.  When I drop her off in the morning, she either snuggles up to me and plays shy - which is totally an act! - or she just dives right in and starts playing with her friends.  Her circle of friends is growing, but the original buddies are still her favorites.  Watching them greet each other is so cute, they are such a sweet little group.  When I drop off or pick up, I get high fives, books brought to me for reading, games of catch initiated, and big smiles and hugs.  I love that!  And I know my daughter does the same with the other moms she has known for a long time.  I sometimes wish that I could spend all day at the daycare with my daughter.  I would love that!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Small smiles

It really is the little things that make me smile.  I've been trying to get my daughter to wear her little sunglasses for ages and she wouldn't do it.  Now, all of a sudden, she loves them and won't take them off!  If the sun is in her face when she's in her car seat, she very dramatically turns her head, shields her eyes and says, "Gases, Mommy, gases"  She wants her sunglasses.  So I've started stashing them in strategic locations so that we have them when she wants them...a pair in each car and one in the diaper bag.  The other day, I had a pair ready to go when she asked for them.  I figured it would be the usual wear them for two minutes, then pull them off and toss 'em across the backseat.  She surprised me by wearing them the whole ride, into daycare, and wouldn't let me take them off her once we were inside and I was getting ready to leave.  I later learned that she wore them all morning, right through lunch and only took them off because it was nap time!  My little movie star.  This goes on the list of things I want to remember as she gets older, so that I can remember how cute she was way back when.  It's right up there with how she takes my face in both her hands if she thinks I'm not paying close enough attention to her.  She gazes very seriously into my eyes and repeats whatever she just said, ranging from requests for treats to bossing me around.  "Choc??" "Sit down Mommy"  So sweet!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Is Work Life Balance a Myth?

Ever since the birth of my daughter almost 2 years ago, I am constantly trying to find work life balance.  Some days it's to the extent that if I had the money, I would hire a life coach, because I feel like I'm never going to figure it out.  Today I spotted this article about how companies prefer employees that have no life outside of work.  I am disappointed, but not surprised because this is my life right now.  My company has a great reputation for work life balance and being family friendly, but the day to day reality is dependent upon your direct manager.  I have had a number of different bosses over the last 5 years, and they have varied greatly in management style.  One of the few consistencies among them is that they all talk the talk when it comes to flexibility but do not walk the walk.  No one wants to set precedent.  I've sought job shares or part-time opportunities at my current employer, but what it boils down to is that if you are at the manager level or above, those opportunities don't really exist.  I've made realistic proposals based on solid business cases and have been shot down repeatedly.  The sad thing is that I loved my job and was very motivated to do it well.  The constant battles over flexibility that I've lost have created what I would think is the least desirable scenario for an employer.  I am completely frustrated and unmotivated now.  In the past I was willing to log in and complete work tasks outside of business hours.  I am never going to do that again.  When I leave work, I don't give it another thought until I return to the office in the morning.  If I am not respected and the work I produce is not valued, then there is no reason for me to go above and beyond.  The job share proposals I've done would save the company money and create better continuity of service while creating jobs in a terrible economy.  I'm failing to see the downside.  It's a win-win!

This was bound to become an issue.  The technology that we have access to was either going to create great opportunities for work life balance or it was going to become a leash that all but those without lives were going to be strangled by.  Blackberries, laptops and smart phones should create a workplace that doesn't require a physical office or cube.  I know there are a few very successful businesses that have changed their business model so that they now lease or own small offices that allow their employees a place to work or hold meetings on an as needed basis.  Unfortunately, most of the corporate world is too much of a dinosaur to be able to shift that way.  It's a shame because I think they could save a lot of money. Not to mention that it is a "green" way to do business.  Another thing corporate America seems to want to say they do without having to follow through.

I also think this is an example of a few ruining it for the rest of us.  I know more people who are in search of work life balance than have no lives outside work.  My friends who are married to the job aren't in love with their jobs though.  They want more in their personal lives.  Which tells me that neither situation is ideal...a common theme in my life is that all things in moderation, nothing to excess is more than just a maxim, it's a highly desirable way of life.  The happiest people I know are those who have truly flexible job situations without penalties behind the scenes.  I know there is something better out there for me, I just seem to be having trouble finding it on my own.  Someday I'll find it.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Confessions of an Amazon.com Addict

It's true.  I'm addicted.  I liked Amazon.com a lot before I became a mom, but now I am truly hooked.  It is the greatest thing ever to be able to buy things I need and have them delivered to my front porch two days later via Amazon Prime.  My three favorite things about Amazon.com:
  1. Amazon Prime - two day shipping has to be the greatest thing ever. (This one has a fee, but is totally worth it) 
  2. Amazon Mom - the more qualified purchases you make, the more free Amazon Prime you get. Search Amazon.com for amazon mom
  3. Subscribe & Save - I am not the most organized person in the world, but being able to set this up on the items that my family uses all the time and need restocked in predictable intervals (like diapers, wipes, organic babyfood) Search Amazon.com for diapers plus saving extra on those items is fabulous.  I must admit that I did like it better when these items got Prime shipping, but being able to schedule them makes it easy to plan ahead for shipping time.
A note:  These programs all have specific terms and conditions that you must read on Amazon.com before you sign up.  I am merely telling you what I love, I'm not responsible for what happens if you don't read the details!

Recently having done the whole baby registry/shower thing, I wish I had skipped the big box baby store registry and just registered on Amazon.  A lot of the bigger baby items are a LOT cheaper on Amazon and you can put stuff on the registry from any website online.  So you can have one registry and save your family and friends some bucks in the process.

I could go on and on and on...am I the only one?  Sometimes I feel like I 'm the only one.  My friends and family tell me about these great deals they got on other sites or at warehouse stores, but they don't come close to what I've saved.  I try to tell them, but they either blow me off or aren't willing to buy these things online.  I find this puzzling.  I get great deals and the stuff shows up on my front porch like magic.  As a full time working mom, I love that!!

I'm always open to new ways to save and/or gain convenience.  Tell me what you do to save money or make your life easier - I'm always open to ideas that will save me time or money!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Remembering 9/11/01

In many ways, 10 years has gone by in the blink of an eye.  However, when I think about that day, it's as though I am reliving it.  I know that is true for many of us.  What I remember most is not being afraid of what might happen to me, though I knew that there was real danger to us all and a terrible fear of the unknown.  I was terrified for the loved ones I was unable to contact - my husband, FDNY & volunteer firefighters, EMTs, a pilot for United who flew out of Newark.  I don't live far from the city, and will never forget how our world changed that day.  I will always remember the response from the rest of the country in the days that followed.  Today I give thanks for my family and friends, I am blessed to have them.  I also give thanks for the heroes who saved so many lives.  My heart goes out to all who lost a loved one as a result of the attacks on 9/11.  I think of you often, and will never forget your sacrifice.  May you find peace.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Come on, Irene!

Hurricane Irene passed by almost a week ago, but she is still wreaking havoc on my daily routine!  I mentioned in an earlier post that we were very fortunate and did not experience any major damage or flooding at our home.  However, we do live near a large river that refuses to stay inside its banks in large thunderstorms, so we knew that the hurricane would be a problem in that respect.  Usually it just makes it hard to get to the next town for a few days, but this time we were personally impacted.  I got a call last Monday night that our daycare was flooded.  It never occurred to me that it might be, because although it is right by the river, it's elevated.  I work for a large company, and the daycare is an on-campus facility run by a national chain.  So the upside is that they were able to shift all staff and operations to another facility until repairs are completed.  The downside is the location of that facility.  It's one of those deals where it is less than 10 miles away, but in rush hour it takes an hour and a half or two hours to get there and back.  I am having a lot of trouble adjusting to that.

We are not morning people.  Not one of us.  So having to move up the morning routine an hour has been really fun.  Or not.  I will also never understand why it is that no matter what time I leave the house, something happens along the way, and I always get there at the same time.  Does time expand to fill the extra half hour I left myself to get there?  Why?  What is that about?  Did time know that I was on jury duty and so did not have ANY flexibility in my schedule last week?

On the upside, I was able to obtain work space closer to the alternate care location, so the commute should be cut in half.  It's still the wrong direction to travel in rush hour.  More happy news is that if our great state provides a passing grade on a site visit later this week, the facility may reopen next Monday.  Hooray!  Add this to the list of things I never thought I would get excited about!

Here's hoping this week goes more smoothly!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

A Work In Progress

"Having a baby changes everything."  Yeah, no kidding.  Whoever came up with this slogan for Johnson & Johnson is a genius, as there are few statements in life more accurate.  He or she also has a talent for understatement.  My daughter is almost two and I'm still recovering!  I wish I could say that I have it all figured out, but that would be such a huge white lie.

Yep.  It's another mommy blog.  But why??  Mainly because I like to talk.  Okay, by talk, I really mean vent.  And I've been told that it's very entertaining.  So being a generous type, I figured I'd share with the class.  Who am I? Check out my profile in the sidebar, it'll give you my deets, as a teen-aged baby sitter recently phrased it.  In addition to being the proud parents of a mischievous little girl, we are the owners of a 60-something year old house that is always in need of TLC.  We are in the process of putting an addition on the house, a project we started in April 2007.  We had no kitchen for 2+ years.  Did I mention that I am a very patient person?  At least in my own mind, that is.  I'm also a glutton for punishment, because just as the end of the renovation came into view, I got pregnant.  With the birth of our daughter, we unwittingly extended the duration of this now never ending project.  See quote above.  Our focus completely shifted.  I don't anticipate it being done anytime soon.  I've made peace with it.  My husband hasn't.  Our toddler thinks the work in progress areas look like fun and tries to find ways to escape into the forbidden zone whenever possible.

I am a full time working mom.  If you are looking for one of those working moms who is super organized and has it all figured out, this is not the blog for you.  I am struggling to find that perfect work/life balance (more on that later).  I refuse to believe that it is mythical!  Babyhood goes by too fast to not enjoy every minute of it, so I definitely tend to skew more to the life side of the scale right now.  There are certainly days when I would love to be a full time stay at home mom, but financially that isn't going to happen anytime soon.  Plus, I do have a selfish bone in my body.  I love being able to go to the bathroom by myself and getting to eat lunch without having to get up sixteen times or having little fingers manhandle my food.  I like talking to adults who speak in full sentences.  Would a more flexible work arrangement, like part-time, be better?  Sure!!  But I haven't been able to find one that meets my needs.  I did find a great one in Singapore recently.  My husband doesn't think I would enjoy the commute from the East Coast.  (A side note - I know I mentioned in my profile that I have a part time job already.  It is VERY part time.  And the pay reflects that.)  I have to admit that he's probably right.  My current commute is 5 miles, 10 if it is my turn for daycare drop off or pick up.

My daughter does go to daycare, and she LOVES it.  She started at 4 1/2 months and early on developed a friendship with two other babies in her room.  I've heard all about parallel play and how that's all young children are capable of.  I'm not buying it, I've seen this trio in action.  They've been interacting for ages.  When the first learned to crawl, she would crawl over to one of the others, lay her head on her friend and they would both smile like crazy.  Fast forward to today, they are still together in toddlers:  there is the little mama of the group; the coy diva; and the laid back surfer dude.  They chase each other around, squabble over toys, and give each other hugs and kisses.  We are blessed with incredible caregivers who love my daughter like she is their own.  They are also far better equipped to tackle the mess fun learning projects that I couldn't (okay, still can't) face.  An example:  they started her finger painting at 5 months old!!  I was still struggling to get dinner on the table every other night (or so) at that point, let alone getting laundry and other chores done.  Re-reading this, it maybe sounds a little like I am trying to rationalize having my daughter in daycare.  I'm not.  I felt guilty at the beginning, no question.  But now I'm very secure in the knowledge that she is very well taken care of and loved while I am at work, and she is developing social skills that would be hard to come by as an only child in this day and age.  And did I mention that she loves it?

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