My Mother-In-Law Joined Facebook

This is the kind of thing that could REALLY test my patience.

Let's just say that I don't have the best relationship with my husband's parents.  This is an issue that spans many years and myriad circumstances, but they don't like me and I don't like them.  Our reasons are different - they don't like that I didn't ditch my family and become the daughter they never had when I married their son.  I don't like that they are manipulative, self-centered, intrusive people who treat my husband and his brother like they are still children rather than grown men with families of their own.  Their parents do not recognize them as the intelligent, remarkable, independent adults that they are.  My mother-in-law and father-in-law have different priorities than I do.  My family and friends are at the top of my list.  I love them and time spent with them is cherished.  My in-laws prioritize money and what others think above genuine affection and time spent with loved ones.  Any information, no matter how private, is broadcast immediately to their network of friends.  This includes personal information relating to health issues.  You get the idea.  Many of their friends are people that neither I nor my husband have ever met, so most of the people getting this private info are not close family friends of forever and a day. 

I know that you may be thinking...why not sit them down and have it out?  I wish that this were an option, as open and honest communication is my preferred form of communication.  (To a fault, I think there are times when I am upset and should really count to ten and think about whether certain things should actually come out of my mouth.)  I am not a slow burn sulker. 

Both of my husband's parents can hold a grudge like no two people I've ever seen!  They are so averse to confrontation that they will not discuss any issues face to face. We call it the twilight zone.  It's the perfect way to describe how it feels.  The closest we've ever come to having it out was when they once ambushed me with a telephone call to detail all of the things that I do wrong as a daughter-in-law and bemoan what they've done to deserve the way I treated them.  All attempts I made to contribute to that conversation were wasted breath, because they really didn't listen to a word I said.  

They jumped my sister-in-law via email.  It had a similar flavor and the same outcome.  They don't like her any more than they like me.  This has been a bonding experience for us.  So thank you, in-laws, for giving me additional common ground with my sister-in-law.  We have joined together to become our own support group and have become good friends in the process. 

My goal here is not to catalog all of their faults, but rather to give you an idea of why I was horrified when I received the text from my sister-in-law telling me that she got a friend request from our MIL.  Wise woman that my sis-in-law is, she promptly hit the ignore button.  Interestingly, my brother-in-law (yep, her son) didn't get a friend request, but my husband got an invitation to join Facebook and be her friend.  He was entertained but has no intention of joining.  His parents are so technophobic that he joked that his mother's email must have been hacked.  No way she could really be on Facebook.  I tend to think that his parents are technophobic when it's convenient.  They like to say to their sons, "Oh, we don't know how to do that.  Can you do it for us?"

I haven't gotten a friend request yet, but it's only a matter of time.  She has been eyeing this for a while as a way to cyber stalk us.  I know this because she has been dropping hints for a month or so now.  I must take the time that I have to think about whether I hit ignore or accept the friend request and then block her from seeing everything so that I can keep an eye on her.

Keeping my enemies closer, so to speak.

I'm not a very active Facebook user.  I go on maybe twice a week, pretty much never post statuses and basically am on to keep in touch and share photos with friends who live in distant places.

I checked out MILs page.  She has no security set on her page.  Of course not.  I'm happy with this at the moment, because it means I can keep an eye on her without having to be her FB friend.  But we will have an issue the minute I see a photo of my child posted without my permission and with no security to limit who can view it.  It may sound paranoid, but I don't trust my in-laws.  Even if MIL sets security, I don't know her friends.  I'm fine with her having photos, but I don't really want her posting photos of my daughter online.

Am I being nutty about this, or am I right to be concerned?

Maybe it's time to ditch my FB account and move over to Google+.  Hmm.  If only the solution to this dilemma were that simple.

What would you do?